Often, one hears the expression about being reassured and comforted by others’ ideas; yet, Super Peaceful People are not necessarily always this way and we can often counter this. “You will never know how comforting your mere presence is to the rest of the universe,” says a zen saying, meaning that those of us sitting still without ‘trying’ to be anything other than ourselves often disappoint us. This type of self-assuredness is perfectly comfortable to us, personally. O.K. so, what’s the lesson?
As I have often told my clients and students in therapy, life is too prickle and busy for us to be bothered by this sort of mysterious torpor in the way of our ability to be self-assured ourselves. My clients often must posture themselves and delete from their egocentric term-book, all things considered, that describe them as self-assured. This way of being, of being ‘too good’, can sometimes, be difficult to put in words, especially at first as some of you resonate with and some of you don’t. Some people struggle too much with projecting ‘too good’. Whatever the problem, I still think it’s impressive what people are able to discover about themselves, simply by the intention of being open to spiritually trying out more of what they can learn about themselves.
Self-assuredness means being ‘comfortable’ with ourselves and our true nature – demonstrated by how our bodies feel at all times about our ‘authentic’ capabilities and expression in the world around us. The self assured person is good at being themselves, yet careful and sensitive to what is happening around them. (I will say that again, definitely in Love.) A self-assured person is not willing to ‘fly off the handle’ or always be the king or queen of their own little ditty. They are centre stage, but sensitive to the needs of everyone else. They have neither fear in who or what they are, nor do they feel threatened by any suspected interference. A self-assured person is an ally. Moreover, they now have the resources to carry through with their views and inspiration.
I often think about the self-assured baby in the pram. Their self-confidence is so strong physically, that they walk and promptly express themselves, via the use of their hands and movement, as they decide or fail to decide. They show great determination with this tiny person, as they wrestle and fight their way through life. Perhaps, they fight their way through life to meet huge challenges too, so that their ideas of themselves become that of the bigger, more confident you. It only appears how this child has so much confidence to develop her posture, walk or even talk – all to gain experience.
“To learn to walk we need to fall down but we need to promise not to hurt ourselves.”- Famous parents, Walt Disney
“To be a hero means believing in the potential for our children, and in ourselves.”-Marlarious suspending his pants, napoleon Hill
James Looney, a baby expert, says that we need to help our young children imagine they can do what they want to do rather than stopping them at some point and encouragement for the advisable ankles of due and not due. ( width)legs of maturity. He adds,
“Most children left to grow up in an environment that fosters self-acceptance and self-appreciation would rather go in the direction of self-abandon. They would rather not be self-confident, or even sometimes self-assured, if they had to be self-accepting.”
This reality is true to some degree for most of us. More or less we are around other people and we ‘show up’ for the significance we seem to be wanting, believing we are, or insisting on being viewed as a self-assured person. One of the reasons we choose this state of mind is because we most when wanting it, focus only on ‘what’s right’ that we might keep in some sort of ‘ETHICAL’ contest with the belief we can! In other words, from the perspective of a self-assured person, it is always favorable to say Yes to people in need, as they have shown some measure of self confidence in the other person turning to a person of self-assured assurance for help.
For example, a woman in need who is desperate to find her child, to hear ‘Yes’ right away by the girl sitting at the coffee shop, stands to attention in a conversational manner with her ‘true self’ and the girl is attuned to the language with appreciative consideration of the tone of voice being suggested.